#gosh im deep inside so sickly romantic sorry guys

[dranna]

Your sweet selfishness

AO3 / Commissions / Links /

Warnings: hurt/comfort, feeling of worthlessness, none (?)

Summary: Crowley thinks he doesn't earned to be happy And his Angel deserves someone else, someone better. However, Aziraphale reassures him, it's not the case.

This story is for @giosnape <3

Line art is mine:)

All of you, please know that you are enough and loved!<3

The Moon was hanging on the sky,

With her beautiful light, 

She was showering her beloved stars, 

No clouds were chasing on the dark canvas,

The shining orbits were decorating with enchant,

It was a peaceful, quiet night,

The one you long for with delight.

The air was filled with the cosy smell,

That autumn brings with itself. 

There were a few lovely pairs, 

Enjoying the cool evening air,

They were enjoying their silly talks, 

So didn't notice a puffy man, 

Running errands in his outlet. 

He was in the bookshop of his, 

In Soho on Berwick Street.

The windows were beaming bright, 

Even tho the shop was closed.

Aziraphale was the owner of this shop,

Which gave home to many rare books. 

The angel was now cleaning up, 

And making tea for his beloved one. 

Oh my dear boy!

Crowley has been weird lately, 

He looks at me sweet but sad,

And when he thinks I’m not looking, 

He looks so depressed. 

Something has been eating up his soul,

But when I ask, he says no.

He has been spoiling me with his pretty yellow eyes,

And buying everything I like,

There is a longing and something tense,

In his shoulders when I hold his hand.

I see, how he wants to be saccharine, 

But when he tries,

It looks like, 

Invisible ropes hold him tight.

I can't bear to see him in this misery,

I need to do something to resolve this!

– These were the worried thoughts of Azi,

While finishing their cups of tea. 

He closed and finished everything, 

Switched off the lights,

And turned towards their bedchambers. 

He lightly hopped on the stairs,

Seeing there is no gleam upstairs. 

The Demon with the ruby head, 

Was lying in their bed, 

Him and his Angel has been a couple,

For at least a year now,

It’s been 6000 years, 

Since he allowed his snake-like gaze,

To settle on the other’s glow,

His home-y, and tender presence, 

Seemed to welcome Crowley’s existence,

He is the entire universe in my eyes, 

While me a mere star, 

He is all the light and warmth, 

I thought could never feel again, 

…. Or rather don’t have the right, 

To feel such a loving sign. 

What am I? A failure. 

Someone, who can’t do their job accurate 

Doesn’t matter, if I’m in Up or in Hell, 

I’ll always shatter.

– From his inner disarray, 

He stared outside the window frame,

He saw all the stars,

He once painted bright. 

They were sparkling in the night, 

Singing there lullabies,

— I don’t understand what he sees,

I’m not the Angel who once been,

Now looking at my design,

I realise, 

How broken am I. 

He deserves so much more, better 

Not this shattered shell. 

… I’m unforgivable,

A creature of the dark, 

A fallen one. 

— He kept staring at the night,

Lying in the dark,

He has been in Heaven,

Since him and Angel been together,

He could forget all the pain and fright,

And let himself being giddy for a while. 

With the simple word “Love”,

It’s impossible to describe his devotion to his God.

If he was a little ant,

Then Aziraphale the mountain ahead.

Yet, 

He felt he has to give in,

The only glee in his being. 

He is too good, too nice,

To be with someone so immoral.

He deserves all the fondness in the world,

But not from me I’m sure. 

I worth noting,

And—

In this moment,

He heard steps coming up the stairs,

And turning on his side,

He saw Him in his eternal light. 

As the Angel reached the door, 

He listened a little more,

All was silent and depressed, 

He felt Love but it was sad. 

I don’t understand,

Every time he is here,

He is in Love and glow,

Why did this change then? 

He stepped into the dark room,

But all he could see was a human shaped form on the bed. 

“But My! This room is a maze of murkiness,

Tut tut.. Let’s open the window to the fresh peaceful night,

Because it seems like you need a little delight.”

“I’m fine Angel! 

Really am,

Just needed a little rest.”

“I put down the hot cup of tea, I made a few seconds before for thee,

Thy mood will be better after you drank the warm comfort and lighting a lamp is the key” 

– Since Crowley didn't move,

Azi lifted his hand to turn on the lamp,

Which was sitting on the bedside table next to them.

He moved slowly to the bed,

And climbed next to the Serpent.

“Now dear Crowley, 

Please tell me, 

What’s bothering you?

And don’t tell me nothing!

I can see and feel something.”

“Angel it's.. It's noth-- I mean–”

“Was it me who did something?

If I did, let me do the dancing–”

“You?! No!! 

You are perfect as you are, 

The most precious being alive, 

So beautiful and kind,

No!

It is I”

“You? 

You did nothing wrong dear,

Recently in fact, 

You’ve been the sweetest boyfriend I’ve ever had!

(And you are the first and only one, my dearest)”

“Don’t you understand?”

– Crowley started sobbing at this point, 

Hiding his face with an army of pillows,

“I am the Fallen Angel, 

The Serpent of Eden, 

Who is a failure in every task!

I can’t pull you down into this shame, 

You deserve someone, 

Who is full and frame. “

— With that, the demon with the burning hair, 

Was pulled into a warm embrace,

A gentle voice filled the room,

And love seemed to bloom.

“Don’t say such things my beloved, 

You are the Sun,

On a cold winter day,

My burning flame.

You are treasured in my eyes, 

The shiniest Ruby in the dark,

You sacrificed so much for me, 

Now it's your time to be selfish.”

– Said Aziraphale with a smoothing tone, 

And if it's possible, hold him more close. 

Time seemed to slow and stop,

The tensed silence changed into a sheltered one,

Their heartbeats danced along,

In an Austen-Ball like fashion.

The Snake-Eyed man continued to weep,

His chest was so full of the feeling de-stress, 

It was impossible to be contained.

The tears fall like the ocean on Noe’s back,

Making the Angel’s coat wet,

With every tear he felt relieved, 

And clinged harder to the Holy Being.

They stayed there, which seemed like an eternity,

But it couldn't be more than an hour in reality. 

“Maye you are right,

Sometimes it's nice to be selfish,

….. But I’m still not nice”

– Crowley’s voice sinked into sleepiness, 

And moved closer to his dearest,

The two cups long forgotten, 

Stood on the bedside stool, 

Covering the pair with their aromas. 

The Moon and her Stars were smiling on the sky,

Shielding the couple with their light.

They fell asleep in each other’s arm,

With no concern in their hearts, 

The Angel, 

Who once Fell from the sky, 

Felt happy and safe for the first time, 

In 6000 years since the Beginning of Time. 

In his dream he smiled, 

While the nightly orbis continued their lullabies. 

Thank you for reading!<;3